Letter to Tags

49ER-HATERS

SOCIETY

AN OPEN LETTER TO NFL COMMISSIONER PAUL TAGLIABUE

August 27, 1997

Mr. Paul Tagliabue
Commissioner
National Football League
280 Park Avenue
New York, New York 10017

Tags,

Look, we realize that you don't have much time, what with coordinating those franchises moving from city to city and everything, but thanks for taking a couple minutes out of your busy day to hear us out. When you're done with this letter, feel free to resume pursuing your goal of fining defensive lineman for mundane, soft hits on quarterbacks, or outlawing players from removing their helmets while on the field, or any of the other important issues you have to tackle on a day-to-day basis.

But for now, we'd like you to examine the concept of the NFL's "salary cap." Yep, you may have noticed that we've used quotations when talking about the "salary cap", as if to say that it isn't really what its name implies that it would be -- kinda like the 49ers being "classy", or Brent Jones being "good." It's purely intentional, Tags, because by now, any moron with half an eye peeled on NFL news knows that the "salary cap", as implemented by the NFL, is a pure joke.

The final blow to "salary cap" validity came on Tuesday, August 26, when Kevin Greene somehow found his way onto the 49ers roster. Granted, the Niners didn't even have enough "cap" room to pay Greene the minimum, but when all was said and done, the long-haired linebacker (you are looking into some kind of NFL fines against long hair, aren't you?) will wear a San Francisco uniform this year in another one of those Leigh Steinberg six-year specials: you know, the contracts that the 49ers have no intention of honoring.

Speaking of which, when Greene held out on the Carolina Panthers, wanting an increase from his already one-million-dollar-plus salary, he became the first player in the free-agent era not to honor his free-agent contract. Funny thing, those contracts. As fictional, incompetent lawyer Lionel Hutz described in an episode of "The Simpsons", "Webster's defines a contract as a binding agreement between two people that is unbreakable ... unbreakable!" Well, at least it went something like that, but we digress. However, the point is clear: even a helpless, animated boob like Lionel Hutz is smart enough to know that a contract is supposedly an honorable concept.

Apparently, though, the 49ers don't know this; otherwise, they wouldn't keep getting away with signing big-name players at tiny front-end contracts, with the promise of big money down the road that will never be met. Just a couple months ago, Steinberg, the mega-agent who seems to represent half the Niner players (the actual number is nine), negotiated a huge contract for Steve Young, before turning around the same day and admitting that Young will never see much of the money stipulated in his contract. You may remember several teams complaining to you about that contract, although we don't remember you doing anything about it despite the fact it's a facade, as is the deal for Kevin Greene.

By allowing these contracts to be approved, by allowing contracts to be renegotiated all the time, and by not counting signing bonuses and incentives and other loopholes fully against the "salary cap", you have created such a soft financial ceiling that teams will be tripping over each other for the chance to get around it. The Niners, of course, were first in line, having pioneered the concept of back-loading contracts, and forking out big signing bonuses, and renegotiating deals so that they can cram as many supposed high-priced players on the roster as they can.

The reason we say "supposed" high-priced players is that quite often, we see players sign contracts with the 49ers that are far below the value that they could receive on the open market. Greene, who was holding out for over a million from the Panthers, signed a contract for $200,000 base (which counts against the "cap"), along with a $750,000 signing bonus (part of the loophole) and another $550,000 in incentive clauses (more of the loophole). Still, if he meets all his incentives, he makes less than what the Panthers were contractually obligated to pay him this year, and far below the figures for which he was holding out.

So why take the cut and go to the Niners? Because they have a better chance of winning this year? Hardly. Carolina is favored by many pundits to get farther than San Francisco this year, and the Panthers are coming off a 1996 season which saw them win the division title and spank the Niners twice.

So what is it? What makes Garrison Hearst spurn million-dollar deals and sign for peanuts with the 49ers? What prompts Jesse Sapolu to come out of the retirement that the 49ers forced on him and re-sign with his former team for the minimum? Is there something fishy going on here?

We would ask you to look into it, but we know you have better things to do, like tracking down Jim McMahon and forcing him to remove his Tagliabue headband while he watches football games on his TV. Not only that, but an investigation into the 49ers' contract signings might sully the reputation of your most-favored team, and it will also cost money, something which the NFL doesn't have much of, judging by the looks of Denver's new uniforms.

One thing you CAN do, though, Tags, is look into changing the "salary cap". If you are indeed serious about promoting parity (which means every team goes 8-8, which actually almost happened last year), then you've got to do something about your joke of a "cap". Fix it now. Force every team to meet the exact same requirements. Eliminate the loopholes. Instead of allowing rampant contract renegotiations, why not count a player's average yearly salary against the "cap"? Or force teams to count every penny they contractually commit to a player against their "cap", whether they end up paying the player or not? How about counting all of signing bonuses and incentives against the "cap"?

These are all ideas that should be looked into, but if there's one thing that NFL leadership can be counted on for, its making the wrong call. No offense, Tags, but you and the other NFL brass and owners spend so much time cracking down on irrelevant things, you miss the major problems of the game entirely. If you and the owners really wanted to even out the playing field, and give each team the same opportunity to compete for and sign free agent players, you would implement a real "salary cap", not some flimsy piece that has more holes than the 49er secondary.

We realize nothing will come of this letter, and we're not fooling ourselves. The 49ers will continue to toy with your "salary cap" the way that the Packers have toyed with the Niners themselves in the past two playoff games. Not only that, but they'll probably continue to sign big-name free agents at bargain basement prices, until someone has the guts to really look into what's going on over at Niner Central. If there is indeed chicanery involved with the Niners contract structures (maybe some extra incentives going on behind the scenes, perhaps?), there may not be much you can do about it. But you certainly can firm up the "salary cap" so that it actually means something. Whaddya say?

That's all from us. Thanks for your time. Now you can get back to your duties, which include studying pro baseball's state-of-the-art methods for dealing with drug offenders. Best of luck to you.

Sincerely,

NHS

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