 |
The naked truth of
|
|
|
The naked truth of
|
October 22, 2004 (NHS) -- There are NFL fans, and then there is the 49er Bandwagon. Yes, it's true -- while it may be beyond the comprehension of the Niner mentality, there are, indeed, 31 other teams that exist across the nation, each with their own concerns, agendas, stories, etc.
This concept, naturally, blows the mind of your typical self-absorbed Niner fan. For them it's like trying to define alternative dimensions, string theory, or Bizarro universes. After all, how could there be people walking around that aren't thinking, at this very second, that Joe Montana is the Best Quarterback Ever?
Part of it isn't their fault. Part of it is because they are never exposed to anything but the outlandish pro-Niner pablum that splashes across the lovable sports media pages day after day, year after year. Thus, it's no wonder these folks believe that the tiny sliver of time that is 49er history has swallowed whole the voluminous history of professional football.
Can we blame them for believing professional football was invented in 1981 by Bill Walsh? Can't we understand that by living in a sheltered world where no other team exists, that causes them to think that if a mediocre player is the best the 49ers have he therefore must be the best in the NFL? Or Best Ever? Isn't that like blaming those a thousand years ago for their ignorant, inflated sense of self-worth in thinking the sun revolved around the earth instead of the other way around?
On one hand, yes, we can empathize. But after twenty-plus years, doesn't it become ridiculous? At some point, isn't such ignorance inexcusable?
For years, legitimate fans in the 31 other markets -- who could give a rat's ass about the 49ers -- have had to watch the media revolve around the Niners. The most asinine stories affecting the 49ers have constantly interrupted our daily enjoyment of football fandom.
It happens every day during the season, but let's just take the latest game, the Monday Night Football Rams vs. Bucs contest for example. A split-screen graphic showed Tampa WR Michael Clayton on one side and Jerry Rice on the other side. Now, naturally, no Rams or Bucs fan wants to see Jerry's ugly, bald mug on the screen. So why is it shown? Because some a-hole producer/director/commentator thought it was cute that they shared the same birthday (although years apart), thus a perfect chance for Al Michaels to spew some pro-Rice propaganda at the audience.
At some point, an objection must be made to the Bandwagon media law that insists all games must mention the 49ers, and further that the sports world must grind to a halt every time a Niner has a hangnail. Two of these latter sort of events occurred in the opening stages of the 2004 season exemplifying the 49er Problem: Jerry Rice did not catch a ball in a game in week 2, and the 49ers did not score a point in week 3. Both events signified the end to "streaks", as in consecutive games with a catch for Rice and consecutive games avoiding a shutout for the 49ers.
That -- and only that -- should have been the mention of those "streaks". Instead, the media sang dirges for these events as if celebrating the passing of something hallowed and sacred. You could not pick up a newspaper or dial-up a web page about your favorite team without running into some mention of these "streaks" -- along with the banal conception of how sad we all should be in remembering how Best Ever the 49ers used to be.
Puh-lease.
As we've pointed out in our discussion of Rice, the only take regarding his "streak" is realizing just how many useless 2-yard dink passes he's been thrown game after game to compile such a "streak". And in our review of the Seattle game, we pointed out that the real amazement about the 49ers scoring a point in so many consecutive games has nothing to do with "greatness" and everything to do with the 49er Cheese Factor. Yet, nowhere was that truth printed -- once again prompting us to ask if we are the only sane people left in the NFL-fan loony bin. Are there really that many Bandwagon idiots that care so much about such stupid trivia? Or is it once again just the media pretending it's so?
Regardless, the only tangible aspect to these "streaks" is that we real fans had our enjoyment of rooting for our team interrupted with yet more perverted tributes to the late, great, Best Ever so-called Dynasty, as usual. So here's hoping these will be among the last hurrah of the Bandwagon's arrogance and ignorance and not just more pearls in the string of the 49er Problem.
Return home.
We welcome comments.
http://www.49erhaters.com/streaking.html
created: October 22, 2004
copyright© 1996-2004 49er-Haters Society (NHS)