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It looks like the Rolling Stones picked the wrong year to go on tour.
In case you're confused, the Rolling Stones reference is a dig on the supposed link between the band and the 49ers winning the Super Bowl. In the past, the 49ers won Super Bowls in years when the Stones toured, and since the group is on the road this year, it was proclaimed in local circles that it was therefore the 49ers' destiny to go to the Super Bowl. In fact, several 49er players actually attended a local Stones concert to keep this legend afloat. Apparently, we can count this little superstition among the myriad myths that were toppled by last Sunday's rout. Besides, while Mick and the gang are talented, ageless wonders who can still perform in the spotlight, the only thing the 49ers have in common are drugs (Chuck Levy), alcohol (Dana Stubblefield, William Floyd, etc.) and old age (basically the whole team).
And speaking of old, this is getting old: the Packers demolishing the 49ers and proving everything the NHS has said all along to be true. If people just listened to us from the beginning, we wouldn't have to go through this every year. For example, take a look at last year's playoff game review to see it mirrors almost exactly what happened this year, which is no real surprise (we wrote months ago that 1997 was a season of deja vu).
Once again, 1997 was a season where we watched the 49ers rack up meaningless wins against the worst teams in football. Once again, the bandwagon grew to epic proportions. Once again, NHS was the only source telling folks all throughout the year that the 49ers were an extremely overrated team that didn't deserve to be in the NFC Championship game. Once again, the Packers demolished the 49ers and proved that NHS was right all along. Once again, many 49ers are whining about the officials instead of conceding they lost to a better team.
If you're a 49er-hater (and you must be, or else why the hell are you at this website?), it's tough to pick out the most satisfying aspect to the game. Is it the embarrassing 33 yards rushing? The Steve Young interception? The sniveling exit of Brent Jones? That Green Bay used a taste of their own medicine, slant patterns, to seal the deal? Dorsey Levens' 114 yards rushing over the overrated 49er defense? The whining 49ers, once again showing their true character? The empty, ugly stadium as the "faithful" filed out with many ticks still left on the clock?
It was a veritable cornucopia for 49er-haters, and once again, adding to the insult was that NHS had gathered together just miles away to watch the demise of the facade, with high-fives a plenty to go around. As we said before, the more the 49ers racked up meaningless wins, the bigger the bandwagon grew, the higher the hype, the more formidable the facade, in the end, it was all the more sweeter for 49er-haters to savor, knowing that we knew the truth all along and weren't afraid to stand up for our correct opinions. The smiles on all the 49er-Haters showed it.
But our job is far from done, because even in the wake of our victory, the media machine is out there misinforming the public as to the true nature of the 49ers. For the most part, the media is doing a respectable job getting the point across that the Packers are a much better team. After all, you'd have to be a moron to think the 49ers were ever in the same class as the Packers. But guess what? Following the game, many 49er players refused to concede that point (read: acted like morons), and yet much of the nation is oblivious to this unbelievable whining going on by the 49ers. In fact, the whining is so outlandish that we will be dealing with it in a separate article. But briefly, here's just some of what is going on:
Ken Norton: "Where they beat us today is they had the officials. Maybe we have to kiss up to the officials a little bit more."
Steve Mariucci: "Who knows what happens if that fumble goes our way?"
Merton Hanks: "You can certainly make a case of this game being decided not by the players, but by questionable calls."
Also, several 49ers vehemently cried for "Instant Replay" to be reinstated immediately.
Instead of getting these quotes, the nation is treated to soundbites of Steve Young and Steve Mariucci insincerely playing gracious losers, when the reality, as we've quickly shown, is that they are anything but gracious losers -- they are whiners.
A big part of why the 49ers are whining is that the manner in which the Packers won is hard for them to swallow. Watching the Packers offense in motion could only be a bitter taste of their own medicine.
Green Bay broke the game open when Antonio Freeman took a slant pass and turned it into a 27 yard touchdown. Gee, if he just did that a couple more times, people would start calling him "the best receiver ever", like a certain unmentionable fellow who grew famous on such pass patterns.
When asked why the Packers' slants were so effective, Rod Woodson replied, "I really don't know . . . They're basic routes." Basic routes? Again, we thought "the best player ever" was so great because the slant was so hard of a pattern. Now we find out the slant pattern is just basic? Hmm.
Besides going through the air, Green Bay rolled up over 100 yards of rushing, something that was supposedly impossible against the "great" 49er defense. But it obviously wasn't all the poor 49ers' fault, right? After all, according to Merton Hanks, "It's always a little tough on the defense whenever you have conditions like that." Gee, that rain and mud really affected the Green Bay defense, didn't it?
No, instead of complaining about the conditions, the Packers thrived on them. Thirty-three (33) yards rushing is all the 49ers could muster. This after a year where media and fans alike proclaimed the 49ers to possess a vaunted "power" rushing game. What a joke!
When all was said and done, it's no wonder the 49ers are whining. The Packers are not only everything the 49ers are not, they are everything the 49ers wish they were and know they'll never be.
Perhaps the sweetest irony to the game was that Steve Young was the man who ultimately made the costliest mistake of the day. Young tried to hit cohort Brent Jones deep in Packers' territory, but instead safety Eugene Robinson picked off the pass and returned it 58 yards. The interception set up the Packers first touchdown.
Granted, some of the blame for the pick falls on Jones, who because of a calf injury was probably running at 6.5 speed instead of his usual 6.1. But Robinson described the pass as "hanging" and picked it like a candy cane off a Christmas tree. It was Robinson's good effort, and ultimately Young's fault.
Why is this so sweet? All year long the 49ers were congratulated for keeping Steve Young injury-free. Coach Mariucci was lauded as instilling a great scheme where Young threw so few passes that his chances of injury were way down. Keeping Young healthy was lauded because of the myth that the only thing standing between the 49ers and the Super Bowl was a healthy Steve Young. In fact, many 49er fans wrote to NHS claiming the only reason the 49ers lost last year's playoff game to the Packers was because of Young's broken ribs. Finally, a year after the fact, yet another excuse dies.
It was pure ecstasy watching the overrated 49er defense get exposed as pretenders. That the media called it the best defense in the league is one thing, but this unit -- the players themselves -- actually had the arrogance to consider themselves the best. Packers' safety LeRoy Butler had this to say to them:
"No question we're the better defense. It ain't even close. All that stuff about the 49ers having the league's number one defense didn't mean anything today. How do you perform in the big game, when it counts? That's what matters. Will you be able to sleep tonight, knowing how you performed? When you go home and your kids ask, 'Why aren't you going to the Super Bowl?' . . . What do you say to them?"
So much for that. But even better is the Monday column in the S.F. Chronicle by noted 49er smoocher Glenn Dickey. All year long, the Chronicle crowed about how great the 49er defense was. Then, on Monday, Dickey wrote that defensive coordinator John Marshall "should be replaced." Talk about jumping off the bandwagon! That is the very epitome of the 49ers media.
When Garrison Hearst signed with the 49ers for millions less than what he could have made with Cincinnati, we jokingly asked readers to pick their favorite derogatory nickname for him: Garrison Hearse, Garrison Hurt, or Garrison Worst.
But a funny thing happened -- the 49ers played against some of the worst defenses in the NFL all in a row and Hearst rolled to some good numbers. As a result, seemingly everybody jumped on his bandwagon: Hearst all of the sudden was the free agent find of the century, the personal savior that made this 49er team so supposedly great with their supposed "power" running game.
After amassing over 1,000 yards, Hearst got injured, by default making his unofficial nickname, "Garrison Hurt". This seemed to just add to his legendary status, because in his absence, the 49ers struggled running the ball (never mind they just so happened to start playing tougher teams). Finally, Hearst was poised to come back from injury and rekindle that "power" the 49ers were so quickly famous for. But just like every 49er bandwagon, Hearst got his in the end.
Coming back from injury on Sunday, one of his carries went for a nine yard gain. Unfortunately, he carried 7 other times for 3 more whole yards. After that, Hearst found his butt on the bench, not because of injury, but because of a coach's decision. In short, the unofficial nickname was chosen: Garrison Worst.
Brent Jones, one of the most hated and vile 49ers, is finally gone, and he's leaving in such a fashion that summarizes what he's all about. We wrote years ago that "Brent Jones is nothing more than a decent tight end that cannot block well and runs with the speed of Refrigerator Perry." Still, that hasn't prevented him from being one of the most overrated players in NFL history.
As his last hurrah, Jones was a big fat zero, catching one pass and getting smacked around repeatedly. He then ended his career whining to reporters about the officiating and that those meanies, the Packers, were holding him downfield. Then he actually started crying when saying his good-byes to his beloved teammates and "classy" owner, Eddie DeBartolo.
Brent Jones is the evidence that the 49ers have watered down the game, because all we have to say is good riddance to this pansy. Where was Tom Hanks to pop up and chastise, "There's no crying in football!"? Instead, as Jones' final interviews wound down, he received applause from most of the reporters in the interview room. Is there a more disgusting example of the media bias?
So what will be the legacy of the 1997 49er season? To the very last, the media is still overrating them: following the loss, the Chronicle was still touting the 49ers as "the second-best team in the NFL." And, no, they weren't joking.
The 49ers were not even second-best in the NFC. For sure, the Bucs were better, and we never got a chance to see how the 49ers would fare against the Giants or Lions. And need we mention the 44-9 shellacking the Chiefs gave the 49ers, showing that obviously there are several AFC teams that are better? But it's no surprise that the media would cling to their 49ers even as everything has crumbled around them. Heck, many folks held on to the rail of the Titanic even as reality was obvious.
We said in the beginning, "This year may be the most important year in our history of 49er-hating." As usual, we were right.
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http://www.49erhaters.com/pack97.html -- Created: January 12,
1998
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