Angry Media Can't Handle Demise of Niners

January 21, 2000 (NHS) -- In 1999, the long-awaited, overdue demise of the pretender 49ers arrived. As their beloved little heroes were flushed down the toilet, the desperate whining of the media was a fitting farewell tribute to the most overrated franchise in football.

Let's put it bluntly: the media is infested with Whiner fans, and once the Niners' collapse was complete, these Whiner fans in the media, controlled by their emotions, had no choice but to throw temper-tantrums. Their heroes are now losers and the 49er legacy continues to approach the truth as more and more layers of the 49er Facade are torn to shreds -- and the media hates it.

This is what we Niner-Haters been waiting for. The media can no longer hide behind the 49ers' win-loss record built on cheese. They have to accept the truth that we've known all along, and it's driving them crazy. And, like all good Niner fans, their response is to whine.

In a sniveling article appearing in The Sporting News, some no-name, George Winkler, was given center stage to display his 49er whine entitled, "Niners are an easy target, but think twice". It was a "Niners fan's guide" to "talking trash" to the fans of other teams in the NFL based on the supposed storied history of the 49ers.

Next, confirmed 49er-ass-kisser Brian Murphy at ESPN.com penned an angry tirade directed at everyone who dares criticize Jerry Rice for now being old and slow.

Not to be outdone, TSN struck again with notorious 49er-shoocher Dave Kindred writing an article entitled with a classic 49er whine, "Where have you gone, Joe Montana?"

There is no substance to any of these articles. Instead, they add up to the same message being played out in the minds of much of the media around the country: "I don't care what any of you say. I love Jerry, Joe and the Niners. They are the best ever. Stop saying they aren't. (sobbing) Stop it! (inconsolable crying) Waaaaaah!"

Even though the Niners' coffin has been nailed, glued, wrapped, buried and landscaped, don't expect articles like these to disappear. Sure, the media will behave like good little Niner fans and jump the bandwagon of another winning team, but the "best ever" thinking has been etched in their minds. Like the never-ending barrage of teeny-bopper groups like the Backstreet Boys and N'Sync, no matter how much we try to pretend it's dead, it will always be there.

The media has plenty of tricks to keep their bias alive. These range from the obvious stroking that will occur with Hall Of Fame nominations for crotchety old Niners to the more subtle and devious, like comparing today's successful athletes to Niners of old. To wit, we have already seen Kurt Warner's poise in the pocket compared to Joe Montana, thus implying Joe's "best ever" status without coming out and directly saying it -- a great tactic for the cowardly media. Recently, a columnist for the Baltimore Sun of all places wrote that the success of the Rams and Titans showed "the importance of being lucky", while "Joe Montana's 49ers were just better than everyone else."

Certainly, these articles and the media's lack of logic are going to piss off you, the intelligent fan. However, we want you to resist the urge to blast them with a profanity filled tirade. That's exactly what they want you to do. Instead, hit them where it hurts -- by showing them you know the truth behind their little game. Try sending them this:

Dear Mr./Ms. "News" reporter:

I have just finished reading your little article entitled (fill in the blank). Yours is just the latest in a series of defensive rants from the pro-49er media everywhere. I realize that nobody is calling the 49ers "the best ever" anymore and that you can't handle it. I know you're hoping your little tantrum will anger legitimate fans and garner you and your 49er heroes some last gasps of attention, but the fact is, other sane football fans and I will not indulge you.

We pity 49er apologists like you.

You sell out all journalistic integrity for your own emotional gain and selfish purposes, which makes you nothing better than a loser at your profession. Worse, you refuse to see the truth:

Bill Walsh is a senile old man and he never was a "genius". Even during Walsh's glory days, Joe Gibbs had better numbers and more success.

Joe Montana was not the greatest ever. He is not the career leader in yards, touchdowns or passer rating. He won less titles than Bart Starr, and Terry Bradshaw had just as many rings calling his own plays. Joe was nothing more than Walsh's bitch.

Jerry Rice is the most overrated player in history. He made a career catching 2-yard slants against the most pathetic division in sports, the NFC Worst. He whined about not getting the ball enough, whined about not getting enough endorsements, threw temper tantrums at reporters, and visited massage parlors in his spare time.

Steve Young was a choker. He only won one big game, the 1994 Super Bowl, and that wasn't because of him, it was because Eddie D.'s funny money bought free agents like Deion Sanders. His "toughness" was a farce, as he limped around whining every game and whimpered out at the end of his career.

Ronnie Lott was a fraud. You know why you always saw him hitting people? Because the guys he hit were wide open receivers catching passes due to the fact he couldn't cover worth a lick. His stint at cornerback only produced pass interference penalties like the one that blew a playoff game for the Niners. Safeties today have more talent in their pinky. Lott doesn't even have a pinky.

To conclude, the 49ers and their overrated players are gone. Finis. It's over. They are being replaced by better, stronger, faster athletes with more heart, courage and integrity (see: Steve McNair and Kurt Warner again). But while the rest of us move on to the year 2000, feel free to sit with blinders on, pining away for your "Team of the '80s", listening to Wang Chung, playing with your Rubik's Cube, waiting for your chance to once more write about your little heroes when they get their hollow nomination into the Hall Of Fame. Now you know exactly what it's worth. Nothing. Just like the quickly forgotten legacy of the 49ers' so-called "dynasty".

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