Hoss: Desperation or Calculation?

November 18, 1999 (NHS) -- Joe Hostetler.

It doesn't exactly fit, does it? But don't worry: just like a scene from Ponderosa, Hoss is going to ride in on his white horse and lead the 49ers to their rightful place in the playoffs. The 49er bandwagon fans will cheer for perhaps four whole quarters. All those articles saying how much the NFL sucks because of parity will vanish as the 49er love once again washes over the content media. What a wonderful world it will be once Hoss is in the 49er saddle.

Putting this amusement aside, it's time to take a serious look at why the 49ers have decided to work out the retired quarterback, Jeff Hostetler. The prevailing view being bandied about is that the 49ers are once again acting in desperation to save their so-called dynasty. As usual, the NHS is here to offer an alternative viewpoint: that Bill Walsh and the 49ers are acting not out of desperation, but calculation, and that there was never a serious chance that Hoss would end up wearing the cranberry-and-butterscotch in the near future.

Unless you want to think the Walsh has, in fact, become completely senile, he knows Hoss brings no immediate value to the team. For one, Hoss has never played in the West Coast Offense, and we know it takes a special quarterback (either the "smartest ever", like Joe, or a smart lawyer like Steve) to fit within the "genius" scheme. After all, wasn't it the lack of these qualities the reason everyone hated the Druck? And what about learning the scheme? As the product of genius, isn't the system so complicated such that Hoss will have to go back to school several years to earn a Ph.D. before he can begin to fathom it? At the very least he will have to study the playbook a few weeks. That time frame would enable Hoss to take the reigns in late December -- a tad bit too late to do any good.

Next, Hoss is 38 years young and coming off a knee operation, meaning that his mobility probably approximates that of "Blubber" Paris. Combined with the present pathetic state of the Niners' offensive line, Hoss' aging frame - despite his acknowledged historical toughness - would not withstand the constant pounding. Sure, he'd stick around longer than Steve "Eggshell" Young, but so did Jeff Garcia.

The only theory that makes some sort of sense is to bring Hoss in for his veteran leadership. Walsh has remarked that he plans to address the 49ers' future needs at quarterback with "possibly a draft pick and a free agent". The media has congratulated Walsh on this approach: let a draft pick learn under a vet then step in later in the year when ready to become "the next Joe."

If that's the case, why sign Hoss now and not next year? Are they worried that some team is going to beat them to the punch and scoop up the then-39-year-old? Wouldn't it be more prudent to see what becomes available on the market after the season is done?

Perhaps, but you are missing the key to Walsh and the 49ers. They have never been about prudence. They have always been about P.R. Here are some other reasons that might actually explain why Hoss is in the Bay Area again:

To get Lawrence Phillips out of the headlines. This wasn't too hard of a goal since everyone is sick of Phillips anyway, so a little nudge was all it took.
To persuade bandwagon fans to stick with the team. The embarrassment the franchise took during the Steelers game was huge. The bandwagon emptied, seagulls circled like buzzards and Pittsburgh fans frolicked. If it at least appears that the organization is doing something to stem the tide, then maybe it would keep some "faithful" butts in their seats until at least the 4th quarter.
To support the theory that everything wrong with the 49ers can be summed up by saying, "Steve Young."
To keep the focus away from the fact that Walsh was wrong about "Joe" Garcia and "Joe" Stenstrom.

These latter two points are the most persuasive. First, it is imperative to the health of the Niners organization that people continue to believe that Steve Young could have saved this season, and so far, it's working. Not only are fans and the media whining about Young's absence, they are firmly convinced that with Steve Young, this dreadful team would be at least 6-3 and on their way to 10 wins and the playoffs again.

This, of course, is pure hogwash, but what do you expect from the Bandwagon? They are ignorant enough to believe the 49ers were "a Garrison Hearst injury away" from the Super Bowl last year!

To quickly show Young's lack of importance, let's remember how dismal he looked this year. He posted a pathetic 60.9 score in the 49er-friendly passer rating system in his three games. The Bandwagon will point to the team's 2-1 record during Young's brief stay as "proof" Young could still win, but let's recall those two wins against bad opponents: (1) at home, against New Orleans, it took four separate interventions by the officiating crew to allow the Niners back into the game; and (2) at Arizona, four gift turnovers and pathetic play by Jake Plummer guaranteed victory.

Let's face it, the most "impressive" win by the 49ers this year was in the tainted Backup Bowl against Tennessee with Garcia at quarterback. That said, the Bandwagon shouldn't be lamenting what "could have been" with a healthy Young -- a more correct assessment is that we Niner-haters were cheated out of what "should have been": watching Young finally but up some bad numbers while leading his loser team to a losing season.

Back to the issue at hand, bringing Hostetler in for a workout is akin to when the team waived Mark McMillian. It forces media attention and people to zero in on an excuse instead of the actual problem. Just like McMillian was the scapegoat for all the Niners' defensive problems, not having Steve Young is the reason the 49ers can't find the endzone on offense. It's a crutch, a cop-out. The typical Whiner excuse. And Hostetler amplifies that excuse.

In the McMillian situation, the media was printing, "Wow, look how small McMillian was! And he had a bad attitude, too." They should have been saying, "Wow, the 49ers defense really is terrible." Now, people are now saying, "Wow, look how desperate the poor 49ers are to be looking at Jeff Hostetler." They should be saying, "Wow, the 49ers' bad management, led by Walsh, has caused their demise. Walsh gave away a decent backup in Ty Detmer, Walsh was wrong about Garcia and Stenstrom, Rice is old and slow, Owens can't catch and Stokes is a choker, so the 49ers can't score."

In short, by bringing in Hoss for a workout, Walsh is "agenda setting" -- feeding irrelevant issues to the media to get people to talk about lesser evils and distractions, like Hostetler, with the goal to avoid letting the public focus on his real important failures.

Auditioning Hostetler also sends a clear message: Steve Young is most likely done for good. The Bandwagon can now turn from whining to mourning, yet another way to ignore what's currently going on with the awful team.

A final point to touch on is how the latest Hostetler headlines have gotten Walsh off the hook. Have you heard or read anywhere in the media that flat-out says Walsh was wrong about Jeff Garcia? If you think about it, it is amazing what Walsh gets away with. He compared Garcia to Joe Montana, supposedly the "best quarterback ever", and all Garcia has done is help flush the Niners down the toilet. You would think that the media would have the professional responsibility to take Walsh to task on his blundered assessment of Garcia's talent. (By the way, just a reminder in case any members of the media are reading this, Walsh also compared Plummer and Rick Mirer to Joe.) Time to rethink that "genius" label?

Public relations is about spinning public perception, and that has always been the forte of Walsh and the Niners. Turns out that Hoss is an excellent tool for them. Instead of headlines asking, "Why was Walsh wrong about Garcia?", there are headlines like the S.J. Merc's: "Son's near-death changed Hostetler's life". It's unfortunate that the very real tragedy and triumph of his personal family is being perverted by the Bandwagon as a human interest story to make the Bandwagon forget about the Niners' dismal year.

The 49er Bandwagon cares more about image than fact. If it looks like the 49ers care enough to make desperation moves, then that's good enough. Working out Hostetler once again lets Walsh and the Niners hide from their biggest fear: blame. Whether this is by accident or calculation, we leave to your now-informed decision.

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