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November 12, 1998 -- You could hear it as the 49ers high-tailed it out of Green Bay after getting their fannies kicked. Someone grabbed a bugle and sounded the retreat. "To the NFC West, boys!" was the shout. They paused just long enough to pack their officials.
Now that the Packers game -- a.k.a. the lone test of the season -- has ended in predictable failure, the 49er Bandwagon is back on its merry way. And speaking of merry, there's smiles on 49er-haters everywhere after watching the 49ers get exposed by one of the worst teams in football. The 49ers put up another cowardly win over the Panthers thanks to biased officiating and a mediocre opponent; another victory they didn't earn. The team, fans, and media again came away proud of the filthy win once again laughably to the point of anointing heroes. While we will discuss the same old issues that should be obvious by now and boggle at why the media continues to cover up the truth, what takes place on television screens across the nation exposes more about the 49ers than our words, and more and more people are rallying to the NHS cause.
This game summary won't be too involved. After all, you swap the team names and there's not much difference between this game and the last time the 49ers played a team with one lowly win: the Colts game. Just like then, biased officiating helped the 49ers. Just like then, opponent blunders helped the 49ers. Just like then, the Bandwagon celebrated as if they had earned the win instead of being thankful for receiving a gift and realistically admitting the joke. Just like then, people are getting fed up at the 49er Problem.
The only difference was that Steve Young sat this one out; not that you'd notice, given most any quarterback can throw the standard 49er 2-yard pass. The media, naturally to save face, dwelled on it. According to famed 49er-smoocher Glenn Dickey of the San Francisco Chronicle, "Before it was known that Young would miss the game ... the odds-makers had installed the Niners as 14-point favorites, and the victory margin probably would have been at least that ... Young would have shredded them."
Yes, the classic 49er "would have" to explain the ugly performance against an ugly team. Now, the 49ers, fans and media can think Young is great and can dream of what he would have done -- but pardon us if we look to reality. Reality is last time Young faced a team with just one win was the Colts. A couple of corrupt calls by the referees (which the NFL admitted afterwards were blown calls) negated two interceptions. In reality, Young and the 49ers lost to the Colts. But even if we accept the "official" outcome, 49ers 34-Colts 31, the fact is the 49ers with Steve Young beat a one-win, lowly team by three points. This time, the 49ers with Ty Detmer beat a one-win, lowly team by two. Big difference, eh? Despite what the 49er Bandwagon wants to believe, Young is overrated and Detmer can fare basically just as well in the cheesy 49er system versus bad opponents.
We had gone a couple games without a nice, fat 49er Huddle, so Sunday it returned in style. The 49er Huddle, as you know by now since it rears its ugly head so often in 49er games, refers to the propensity of NFL officials to stop an NFL game for several minutes so they can gather in a group and collectively decide to make a call in favor of the 49ers.
Let's set the mood. The 49ers were an embarrassment in the first half, and once again like in the Colts game, there came almost a conscious decision on behalf of the officials to prevent the 49ers from losing. The 49ers scored on their first drive of the second half to cut the score to 16-14, Panthers, but instead of rolling over, Carolina starting driving on the 49ers' porous defense. On 3rd and 3, Fred Lane took a hand-off and romped around the right side for about 30 yards down to the 49ers' 25.
Nope. Flag. Holding on the Panthers.
Now, we've seen such "coincidental" momentum killers called against 49er opponents many times and usually they are glossed over, even by us. After all, the typical 49er opponent is so pathetic it's not impossible to imagine they in fact did hold. But the first clue to something strange going on here was FOX announcer Ray Bentley pondering out loud about the flag, "This one came out very late in the down." Translation: the flag was thrown after it became clear that Lane was off to the races.
Then an even stranger thing happened: FOX showed the replay. As we said, these common "coincidental" penalties are usually glossed over, meaning that often no replay is shown. But Bentley highlighted the alleged guilty party, #64, Corbin Lacina, by circling him on the television screen, and his route was shown in its full glory in slow motion.
Lacina pulled to his right and made a cut-block.
If you know anything about football, you realize you cannot hold on such a cut-block. Even Bentley was boggled. "You can't hold on a cut-block ... That's a mystery to me. I don't understand that one."
So what is the explanation? Was there a mix-up in communicating the call or the player's number to the head referee? No, the head referee was the one who threw the penalty flag and then he himself announced it to the crowd. Instead of getting the ball with 1st down within the 49ers' 25-yard line and a chance to up their lead, the Panthers received 3rd and 13, and eventually had to punt.
An inexplicable, momentum changing phantom call. Draw your own conclusions. But before you do, there's more: the referee 49er Huddle.
With Carolina still leading 16-14 late in the third quarter, Detmer fumbled while being sacked on a critical third down pass attempt. Defensive end Les Miller fell on the ball and, thinking he was touched and already down, got up and stopped. Terrell Owens grabbed the ball out of Miller's hands and began to run with it as if the play was still live, but officials blew the whistle and stopped him. The head referee addressed the crowd. "After the ball was recovered by Carolina, the Carolina player was down by contact." Once again, Carolina had the ball back, the lead, and momentum.
Silly. How dare you believe that!
As soon as the referee made his announcement, the line judge ran over and began a discussion; a.k.a., the 49er Huddle. There was no suspense -- all seasoned 49er-haters and intelligent football fans knew exactly what was going to happen, and the head referee again addressed the crowd, beginning with one simple inevitable word, "Correction ..." A few plays later, the 49ers scored the go-ahead touchdown.
49er fans are going to protest and we've already received a lot of email that this was the correct call. These people are missing the point. Correct call or not, the referee's decision was already made. The whistle was blown as Owens was running because the player was ruled down. It was announced that the ball was going to the Panthers, only to result in an about-face after some discussion. We can only imagine what is said in those discussions (is it phrases like, "This is the 49ers, we have to give them the ball"?), but we know for certain that what makes the 49er Huddle special is that it happens so often for the 49ers and so rarely for other teams. For example, the Raiders last weekend scored an obvious touchdown that was incorrectly ruled not a touchdown. No reversal. For other teams, it's just chalked up as a blown call that's part of the game. For the 49ers, it's reversed for their benefit.
Are we saying the Panthers would have won? Of course not. The point of this discussion is to maybe get it through the thick skulls of the pro-49er fans and media that it's not very hard to win 10 games in a season given this combination of pathetic opponents and favorable officiating the 49ers have been blessed with these past years.
Not even Dom Capers had a clear reason for why he refused to call a timeout -- despite the urging of many of his players -- when the 49ers lined up for their final field goal. The precious seconds that ticked off erased any chance for Steve Beuerlein to guide his team into a realistic game-winning position.
As it was, even despite Capers' blunder, the Panthers almost pulled it off thanks to the 49ers' and Wade Richey's ineptitude. His attempted squib kick went right into the arms of the front line of the Carolina kick return team and they got the ball back in 49er territory. Why they attempted a squib kick is bizarre. After all, we've heard for weeks that Richey's whole reason for living is that he can boot a kickoff out of the endzone and erase any chance at a kickoff return. Gee, maybe the 49ers don't believe their own hype.
Regardless, a holding penalty knocked the Panthers back 10 yards, and John Kasay's final field goal attempt fell 9 yards short. The game ended with still that extra time out left in Capers' pocket.
Even though all this adds up to what can best be described as a tainted, ugly gift for the 49ers, many people could stomach it. After all, it is a hilarious reminder of the true talent level of the 49ers to struggle at home against one of the worst teams in football. What can't be digested is the 49er Bandwagon reaction.
A huge glossy photo appeared on the front page of the San Jose Mercury -- not the front page of the sports section, but the actual front page of the entire newspaper -- celebrating the 49ers' win. "49ers claw back to win" was the sports page headline. The misguided message that they were trying to send was clear: that this was a tough fought, hard earned, heroic win for the 49ers.
Such a blatant, deliberate attempt to hide the truth from readers cannot be denied and cannot be excused. Worse, the lumps of moldable clay known as 49er fans read it, buy into it and go on their way, loudly annoying other real fans of real teams with their ignorance. It's why we call the media an integral part of the 49er Bandwagon and often the number one reason why people join the NHS.
Speaking of the media, Chris Doleman was featured in the San Jose Mercury on Thursday in a typical "thank god for ___" story (where you fill in the blank with whatever overrated 49er is currently being hyped). "Overrated" and "hyped" is a perfect summation of the over-the-hill Doleman, because he is the perfect example of how the NFC West and its corresponding easy schedule contributes to artificially inflate the individual statistics of 49ers.
It's bad enough that Doleman is being celebrated for his 3.5 sacks on Sunday. Not only should the fact that Carolina is a bad team overall preclude any commemoration, but Doleman was working against undrafted rookie Rob Bohlinger, forced into the contest due to injury. Yes, 49er fans, other teams have injured offensive linemen, too.
On the year, Doleman has 11 total sacks. In four games against the NFC West, Doleman has 10 sacks. In five games against non-NFC West opponents, he has a combined one sack (a half-sack in two separate games). Against the Saints (4-5) and Panthers (1-8), he has 7.5 of his 11 sacks. Once again, the point is clear: take away the bad opponent and you not only take away from the 49ers win-loss record, but the inflated individual statistics as well.
Another point being missed by those 49er fans and media celebrating Doleman's supposedly great play is that Doleman is playing for the 49ers because of luck, not because they wanted him. If you remember, Doleman publicly mentioned retirement because the 49ers wouldn't pay him what he wanted. As luck would have it, just before the two parted ways, Gabe Wilkins got injured and the 49ers reluctantly signed Doleman -- and now they celebrate him and take credit for his play. Typical Bandwagon.
Up next is the battle to see who's the biggest pretender. Just like the 49ers, the Falcons have compiled an impressive looking record thanks to a pathetic schedule. Still, this week is one of the few weeks where there's an element of risk involved, which has the Bandwagon afraid.
The most laughable moment amidst the hype leading up to the Falcons game was when Ken Norton, Jr. made a statement against show-boating, in particular the Falcons' "Dirty Birds" dance. During his weekly show on KNBR radio, he said the 49ers don't like such celebration and reinforced the commonly-repeated lie that celebrations don't fit into the 49ers' supposed professionalism.
Do we really need to point out Norton's absurd hypocrisy? Yes, because unbelievably, 49er fans are stupid enough to believe the words of 49ers and buy the spun image without looking at their actions. Just one look at Merton Hanks' idiotic "Chicken Dance" should end this discussion. But what takes the cake is that Norton himself has engaged in this very behavior (when he's boxed the goalposts on more than one occasion) -- and now he has the gall to indignantly frown upon the Falcons?
What else should we expect from the 49ers but arrogance, ignorance,
hypocrisy and double-standards?
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created: November 12, 1998
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