49ers 36, Jets 30 (OT)

Media revs up bandwagon despite truth: 49ers are second-world

For those that want to believe the 49ers are among the elite teams in the NFL, Sunday had to be an eye-opening experience. For 60 minutes, the 49ers proved they are no better than the Jets despite being at home and buoyed by the hype of Jerry Rice's vaunted return.

If we view the NFL in terms of tiers, we come up with classifications not unlike those of the socio-political world. Teams like Denver, Kansas City and Green Bay, who rolled over their competition in week one, proved to be first-world. Elite superpowers. Teams like the Rams and Philadelphia quickly established themselves as third-world. Downtrodden teams obviously going nowhere and a threat to no one. Then there's the pack of teams that you can't describe as awful, but you can't say that they are really good, either. The Jets are in that category. And the 49ers fall smack in the middle of that second-world pack, too.

The 49ers proved this by eking out an overtime victory -- at home -- against the Jets. If the 49ers were a lot better than the Jets, they would have romped easily, but no. Not to demean the Jets any more than necessary, but its obvious this team has not significantly improved its 24th-ranked defense of a year ago when they rode a 5th-place schedule and Bill Parcells to a 9-7 record.

And it's not like the Jets played the best game they possibly could. There were the standard shanked punts and misplays we've come to expect from 49er opponents, most blatantly the backpedaling fiasco on the part of rookie safety Kevin Williams that allowed J.J. Stokes to pull down an overrated touchdown. Even so, the 49ers struggled, which is of no surprise -- we've seen this pattern over the last many years. Whenever the 49ers are forced to play a decent team (e.g., anytime they play outside their Pop Warner division), they can barely stay afloat.

The only real surprise was that so early in the season, we can dismiss any talk of the 49ers "number one defense". Thankfully, even when the 49ers start compiling gaudy statistics against their pathetic NFC West foes, there will be no myths this year about the 49ers being as good as the 1986 Chicago Bears or other great defenses. No, Glenn Foley, Keyshawn Johnson, Wayne Chrebet and company embarrassed the overrated 49er secondary to the tune of 415 yards passing, exposing the truth.

Another refreshing thing to see after this game were the reactions from the Jets players. They admitted they "didn't get the job done". They took the responsibility and the blame. You can bet that had the fortunes been reversed, the 49ers would be whining up a storm. It was bad enough watching the 49ers win; all the gesturing and gyrating has turned a franchise that once described itself as "class" into a bad episode of Martin.

In sum, the 49ers first action lived up to the NHS predictions once again.

49er Huddle Debuts On Day One

Yes, it passed right by most ignorant viewers, but those familiar with the teachings of the NHS saw it blatantly. The 49er Huddle is back for another season.

In case you are a first-timer here, the "49er Huddle" refers to when the referees stop the football game, come together in a group and either reverse a call or invent a penalty in order to help the 49ers. A key component to the huddle is that the television broadcasters will ignore what's going on and refuse to show any sort of replay so that the 49er Huddle continues to go unexposed.

With 3:00 left in the first half and the Jets leading 10-7, the Jets stopped the 49ers on a crucial third down near the goal line. Naturally, it was time for a flag. The referees huddled, conferred, and, magically, a defensive holding penalty was called, gifting the 49ers a first down and eventual touchdown. No replay was shown and the incident passed without comment.

Don't take our word for it -- go rewind your VCR and look at it yourself. You'll see the outrageousness of these shenanigans. Also, go back among our archived game summaries, especially last year's Falcons and Cowboys games. You can go back to 1981 and see the 49er Huddle is a staple of many a 49er win.

Rice's "Successful" Return

On Monday, The San Jose Mercury headlined, "Rice makes successful return". You know if that gutless statement is the best "the Bay Area" media could come up with, Rice really had a bad day.

You know they were all ready to tab this return as "the greatest in the history of the NFL, proving Rice is the greatest player ever", and to throw in "glorious", "momentous", "colossal" and so on. But nope. Just "successful". Plain and boring.

Sure he scored, but it was on the usual 2-yard out play with nobody covering him. The touchdown was the product of the play, not the man. Not even the Bay Area media could trumpet that. According to coach Steve Mariucci, it was the 38th time Rice scored on that play in his career. That's probably low-balling it, as we've seen from experience that most of Rice's success is on such 2-yard patterns and he very rarely beats anyone one-on-one (see: RiceWatch).

That didn't stop an enthusiastic celebration after the touchdown. The television camera flashed to many elated Rice worshipers and focused on one particular lady. It's unknown whether this woman was Mrs. Rice or a "guest" from the local massage parlor.

All told, Rice racked up most of his yards in garbage time at the end of the first half, when the Jets' prevent scheme conceded the yards on purpose. Even with these bonus yards, Rice still finished behind four other receivers in terms of yardage on the day. If that's a "successful" day for the supposed "best player ever", then the bar has certainly been lowered.

12th Man

For some teams, their 12th man is their home crowd. The 49ers' wine and cheese contingent would never be a factor, so for the 49ers, the referees usually play the 12th man. But on Sunday, the 49ers announced a starting unit of 12 players putting a new twist to the entire concept. The extra player was Terrell Owens. It was the result of the conundrum over who would be named the two starting receivers between Owens, Stokes, and Rice. After all, they are the three best receivers in the NFL, so to pick two was just too daunting of a task, right?

To everyone's joy, Owens decided to take the sting out of any decision and went to Mariucci and volunteered to let Stokes be the starter. The gesture so moved Mariucci that he decided to announce both as the starter (or maybe he was just thankful he could avoid making a difficult decision as usual). The media lauded Owens, calling the gesture "magnanimous" and anointed him Sainthood status.

Like all things 49er, only the spin making the 49ers look good was printed while the other side went ignored. The other side is J.J. Stokes, the guy who didn't volunteer. If Owens' actions exemplify great team spirit, class, and are a monument to his greatness, doesn't that mean Stokes' refusal to likewise volunteer is a monument to his arrogance and lack of class?

Streak begins again

In the NHS Season Preview issue of the NHS Newsletter, we highlighted the two huge factors involved in the 49ers' wins last season: (1) a disgustingly easy schedule; and (2) avoiding first-string quarterbacks. The 49ers faced backup quarterbacks in over half their games in 1997, and when they did face a first-stringer, it was usually the dreck of the NFC West. We said that couldn't possibly happen again, but obviously we forgot the 49er mantra, "it's better to be lucky than good" (as the San Francisco Chronicle put it). Yes, Trent Green will take the helm for the Washington Redskins with his experience of two NFL games under his belt. So while the big story will be Stubblefield facing his old team, you will know the real story.

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