PERFECT ENDING

Media blather surrounding Walsh's final whimper is appropriate sendoff

April 25, 2001 (NHS) -- It's Back.

In case you haven't noticed, the 49er Bandwagon has been silently gathering steam. Ever since the Niners were able to beat up on toothless AAA teams like the Falcons, Chargers, Bears, etc., and gather 6 meaningless wins last year, the media first whispered about the improvement. This in turn grew into louder and louder murmurs about the up-and-coming Niners. The coverage following this year's draft was finally the crescendo blaring the return of the 49er Bandwagon from its long-dormant status.

The draft is one of the greatest times of the year for legitimate football fans everywhere, but as we poke around all the sports newspapers and web sites these days, our enjoyment is constantly interrupted by disgusting tripe from giddy "journalists" in the form of giddy stories about Bill Walsh's last draft with the 49ers. To hear our lovable sports "experts" tell it, Walsh is the "Old Master" of the NFL draft, and the 2001 draft was chock full o' magnificent maneuvering that only He could perform.

Naturally, we're here to give a healthy dose of reality. While we agree with the media -- that Walsh ended his drafting career in classic style -- we believe Classic Bill means hype and cheese rather than substance. In those terms, Walsh's ride off into the nursing home sunset was a fitting end to his blight on real football.

Before our more sensitive readers object too much, let's begin with the caveat that first round selection Andre Carter is a player with great potential. Sure, a case can be made that this was a pick by those suffering big-time from Bay Area myopia (when rating Carter, the 49ers were excessively wrapped up in the romance and good story line of the fact that Carter played for Cal and Maruicci recruited him). But when you review the film of Carter, an unbiased opinion has to be that he stands a good chance of being a solid player in the NFL, if not more. Of course, the same can be said for 99% of first round choices at the time they are drafted, so there is really nothing incredible in getting a good player in the top 10 of the draft.

That said, it's clear we don't have a problem with the pick itself. The problem breaks down like this:

One, the trade for the pick wasn't made on its merits;
Two, the hype is outstretching the reality; and
Three, they never should have had the pick at all.

Starting at the top, what do we mean, the trade wasn't made on its merits? Well, note that in order to pull his last great draft trade, Walsh had to guilt Mike Holmgren into a deal. This is basically an NFL equivalent to affirmative action: Bill's too old and senile to pull a deal on an even playing field, so his friend had to give him a little help. Any credit that people want to give to Walsh for this move needs to take that into account.

This relates to our second point, that the hype is outstretching the reality. The hype, of course, is vintage bandwagon media. Every nationwide outlet, from CBS Sportsline.com to TSI to CNN/SI, took their turn calling Walsh "the greatest draft day maneuverer" and similar Best Ever garbage. But leading the band was good ol' ESPN, whose draft coverage is getting worse and worse with each passing year, not unlike Chris Berman's haircut and tired old shtick.

When it was announced that the 49ers had completed the trade to move up and draft Carter, you could see Berman's pants get wet. It was his wet dream come true, the chance to highlight his lovable Niners and the figurehead of his "enlightened" philosophy on football, Walsh. Joining him was lackey Mel Kiper, Jr. in an attempt to make it look like the Chicago Bears were set on taking Carter, and only Walsh's brilliance brought such a gem of a prospect over to the Merlot and Cheddar.

Unfortunately for Berman and Kiper, the truth is that the Bears only had Carter listed as a possibility among five possible candidates for their pick, and four of those were on the offensive side of the ball, so were leaning to go offense anyway. According to the Chicago Tribune, Chicago got "a player the Bears thought would be gone when their turn came: [Michigan WR David] Terrell, among the highest-rated players going into the draft. Indeed, only two of the Bears' mock draft scenarios had [Terrell] lasting until No. 8. The decision was an easy one" to take Terrell.

Nevertheless, that didn't stop the unholy alliance of Berman and Kiper from trying to make the Carter pick appear like one final master coup from Walsh and the 49ers pulling the wool over yet another sorry, lesser-gifted NFL franchise. Thankfully, Chris Mortenson and Joe Theismann, even though Niner-smoochers themselves, but to a lesser degree, stepped up to dispute the foolishness, sparking an awkwardly bitter moment in ESPN's otherwise light-hearted coverage.

The local media, naturally, would not be outdone. The S.F. Chronicle on Sunday carried the jump-head, "49ers, Chargers Appear to be Winners in Draft". They followed up on Monday with, "49ers On the Rise". But perhaps the greatest summation of the Bandwagon media sentiment going around was dictated by Tim Kawakami of the San Jose Mercury: "[G]uys like Bill Walsh and Mike Holmgren ... they're the Picassos of this thing. They're so many steps ahead that we can barely follow the squiggly outlines of their reasoning. But for that mediocre middle group of NFL decision-makers, the draft is a two-day raise-the-bar exam, exposing their foresight, foibles, needs, desires and greatest fears, under the gun".

Well, far be it for us, Einstein, Hawking or any mortal man to attempt to fathom the reasoning of the Almighty Bill or his enlightened West Coast Family, but let's take a crack at putting those squiggly outlines of Walsh's reasoning in focus: the Niners sucked, but thanks to an easy schedule, they didn't quite suck enough to warrant picking 3rd, so Cinci took the highest rated defensive end. In turn, Walsh made a cheesy, superficial trade with a crony to take sloppy seconds in the DE market, a solid player yet "not a great pass rusher" according to his scouting report.

Or is that just too squiggly to comprehend?

As a final point, it's time to mention something NOT ONE media outlet had the sack to remember: the 49ers never should have had their number one pick.

This might come as a stunner for some people, which is a great yet unfortunate statement of the media. In case you forgot, the 49ers were finally penalized for their blatant and flagrant disregard of NFL salary cap rules by making illegal, under-the-table agreements with the likes of Brent Jones, Steve Young, Jim Druckenmiller, and perhaps a laundry list that we will never know about.

This, at a minimum, should have cost them this year's number one pick. But, alas, as we reported earlier, the NFL was too limp-wristed to treat their lovable 49ers fairly and accorded them a preferential penalty -- then, hilariously, decreed that from now on, any similar cheaters (not located in San Francisco) will automatically lose a first round pick.

And with that, Bill Walsh is off to drive around with his turn signal on, talk about food and the weather, or do whatever else people of his aging faculties do, and football is left with only a legacy of ego, hype, and a wimpy brand of football.

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