Bandwagon Spanked
Chiefs 41, 49ers 0 -- One thing you
can say about Alex Smith -- he's no Damon Huard! The joy is complete
today for Niner-haters as once again every Bandwagon lie was exposed
with absolutely no wiggle room for idiotic claims of "moral victories"
or that the blatant bust Alex Smith is "improving". Their
schedule luck finally ran out -- no NFC Worst division opponent or
home game meant the truth could finally surface, and the 49ers got
whooped by a bad team without their starting quarterback. Perhaps
even better is maybe somebody will wake up to the media lie that Mike
"Lombardi" Nolan is anything more than a complete shell
of an image. He thinks his circa 1990s sunglasses make him look oh-so-cool
and tough, and that image game will translate to his team, but no
-- the most telling moment was when the 49ers laid down like dogs
to let the Chiefs run back a punt for a touchdown in garbage time
-- the capping moment of a team that has no talent, no heart, and
is a monument to Nolan's complete failure. So sit back, turn on KNBR
and enjoy the hosts squirming to avoid talking about the 49ers, and
enjoy all the whining as those "die hard Faithful" hop off
the Bandwagon!
[This site is under new management. Other
than headline updates, it is not live yet. Expect new content soon.
In the meantime we hope you will enjoy reading the old articles as
much as we do.]
Forever Wrong
Young weasels into HOF thanks to 49er Problem:
Big surprise, his media buddies voted him into the Hall of
Fame with not one peep of dissension. But the valid question remains,
does Steve Young deserve to be in the Hall of Fame? Niner-haters
say no.
Video scandal exposes truth yet again
Now it's okay to bash the 49ers?
We try to take some well-earned time off and the 49ers go and humiliate
themselves again. The great 49ers Video Scandal of '05 totally sidetracked
the effort to bring back the Bandwagon. As usual, the content itself
is not the concern of the NHS, but the 49er Problem that stems from
it, and IronMan writes in with a commentary over his disgust with
the "newborn" criticisms of the 49ers that should
have been applied all along.
Niners buck Rodgers, select Smith
2005 Draft Review: The 49ers bungled
just about everything they could have about the draft. Indeed, all
signs leading up to their selection of Alex Smith indicated they were
going to blow it. Last season, the Bandwagon
media couldn't shut up about something as silly as how their #16 pick
was destined for "best ever" greatness. This year, the 49ers
picked first and, strangely, we heard very little about how that pick
would be "best ever". It was especially curious because
their likely candidate at the time, Aaron Rodgers, was a Bay Area
product, a Niner fan since birth, and thus had all the makings of
what the media would usually go ga-ga over (picture the biggest nerd
you can, nasally screeching, "He wears a Joe Montana shirt under
his jersey, he must be Best Ever!"). It used to be that every
weenie-armed, successful college QB was "the
Next Joe", according to Bill Walsh, but nobody gave Rodgers
that label. We thought maybe they finally learned, but it turns out
it was just setting the stage for their pick of Smith and his inevitable
Bandwagon. [coming soon]
More Coming Soon:
Walsh honored by black coaches alliance:
It was a joke when Terrell Owens compared himself to Rosa Parks, but
the ridiculous amount of praise Bill Walsh is getting in the arena
of racial progress in the NFL might be eclipsing even that insanity.
Now Walsh has received an award from the Fritz Pollard Alliance --
so it's high time that the truth of what exactly Walsh and the 49ers
have done (or haven't done) to promote racial diversity needs to be
examined, sans the media's usual bias. [coming soon]
Super Lessons: Despite the saying
to the contrary, when it comes to the moronic sports media, you truly
can fool all of the people all the time, as was proven by Terrell
Owens' idiotic little injury stunt and performance in the Super Bowl.
It worked, the media swallowed it whole and rode his bandwagon. Owens
completely failed in everything the Eagles brought him in for, but
because he put up worthless West Coast offense numbers, the media
continues to be oblivious to the truth. [coming soon]
The 49ers are Balco's home team, yet
incredibly the NFL and media successfully hid the
substantial connections that bind the 49ers to Balco, a taint
that goes all the way back to the 1980s. Instead, all blame was given
to Raiders, as if Balco was located in Oakland and not on the S.F.
side of the Bay. And just when it looked like Congress had finally
turned its gaze towards the problem, the NFL successfully tap-danced
around any significant backlash thanks to their media protection and
Major League Baseball's bungling. Finally, the last chance for any
truth to come out was during the Balco or Romo trials, but now that
those settled there are no adversaries left. All are now collaborators
with an agreement that will keep the entire truth of just how far
the steroids go in football hidden forever -- exactly what the NFL,
and the 49ers, want. [coming soon]
2004 Season Wrap:
Demented on Dynasties: The Patriots
a dynasty? Say it ain't so, Joe! The 49er Mentality can't handle any
other team getting praise, since only the 49ers are the "best
ever" in their little minds. So not only are they completely
wrong about the 49ers ever being a dynasty, now they won't even allow
others like New England their time in the sun ... and it's
all thanks to The Problem.
York is Official Excuse of 2004:
It's not an official 49er season until the excuse or scapegoat has
been anointed, and 2004 is finally in the books with owner John York
being the entire reason the Bandwagon thinks the Niners didn't win
their deserved Super Bowl. [coming soon]
Yorks' sad response to Bandwagon whining:
What can you do when the Bandwagon media has ganged up on you as the
scapegoat for everything wrong with their favorite team? Owners John
York and Denise York (the papers have stopped using DeBartolo as part
of her name, you'll notice) floated a letter directly to 49er fans
in a sad attempt to halt the Bandwagon exodus.
Donahue fired for Walsh's incompetence:
Most of the current sorry state of the 49ers can be traced directly
to Bill Walsh, most notably his failure to groom his hand-picked successor,
Terry Donahue. Yet you'll notice Walsh has vanished as usual when
there's blame to go around. And not only is he avoiding any culpability,
a contingent of idiotic Bandwagoners is actually calling for Walsh
to come back to the 49ers yet again, showing they truly have no grasp
of the reality of Walsh.
Erickson fired because he dumped the WCO:
Erickson did the noble thing when he shafted the Wuss Coast offense.
He just didn't realize that without the WCO deodorant, the stink of
his talentless players would ultimately get
him fired.
49er Problem down, not out: It's
great that most of the Bandwagoners have jumped off the sinking ship,
but there's still a contingent of insane 49er-smoochers in the media
that will continue to pervert their voice towards pro-Niner propaganda
until their dying day. Check out The Washington Times sports section
on January 10, 2005: "49ers
started mining gold with the Catch".
What's the purpose of an East Coast paper glurging
about the 49ers, the worst team in football, right in the middle of
the exciting 2005 NFL playoffs? As if we need to tell you. It doesn't
matter that there's not one person in D.C. that could give a rat's
ass about the 2-14ers. This butt-kissing author, Dick Heller, and
the sports editor, like so many others, will continue to lie and distort
any facts about the 49ers' past to spin the fake "best ever"
facade. He's decided he's going to kiss Niner butt right in the middle
of the playoffs, no matter what, everyone and everything be damned,
because he's so angry nobody is saying his little team is "best
ever" any more and his 49er Mentality can't handle it. Yes, it's
pathetic and laughably transparent: instead of keeping the focus on
the awful present, the media can't resist nauseating tributes to the
49ers past -- and of course spinning it into
something it never was.
NHS Gathering Wins Again: NHS Members
gathered once again on December 5th in heart of the Evil Empire, the
Bay Area, California, to watch the Rams take on the 49ers. Big surprise,
the Niners lost. [coming soon]
End of Wuss Coast offense, end of Jerry:
The Raiders dumped the passé West Coast offense into
the toilet to start over fresh this year. The problem is that they
forgot they still had a guy on the roster with no other skills than
being able to catch a meaningless 2-yard dink. No surprise, it
took only two games in a legitimate offensive scheme for Jerry to
lose one of his precious little records, throw a hissy-fit, and to
ultimately run home crying to Mike Holmgren in Seattle.
Also a Must Read: a Seahawks fan
sounds off his disgust over Steve Largent's uniform number being "unretired"
for Rice to wear it, at FootballProject.com.
The naked truth to 49er streaking:
Bandwagon's undue attachment to meaningless
"streaks" shows why they are the Bandwagon.
Hit the bricks, old man: It took
three tours of duty and two years since he handed over the GM duties
to Terry Donahue in 2001, but it finally seems the scourge of Bill
Walsh is gone for good. April 30th was his last "official"
day as an employee of the 49ers, and all that's left to say is it's
about frickin' time.
Frankenstein's Monster gets exiled:
Niner-haters rejoice (unless you're an Eagles fan), because the NFL's
answer to Dennis Rodman is now Philly's curse. How it went down, of
course, was vintage Bandwagon:
Where's the message board? Why the
NHS forum closed.
Lacking the Connection: Another writer has ventured into the
rarely tested waters of criticizing
the West Coast Offense at MSN's Slate Magazine. But note
that after explaining that "In the WCO, a quarterback's imagination
and creativity are subordinate to timing, accuracy, and strict adherence
to 'the system'", the writer then claims two sentences later
the 49ers were different because of "the talents of Joe Montana,
Steve Young". This is the exact same lack of logic we saw when
CNNSI's Dr. Z, in his weekly
column, decried the "dink, dink, dink" nature of the
WCO, but never once mentioned the biggest offenders -- the 49ers --
and never placed the blame of why today's dink game is so boring on
Bill Walsh. We applaud the baby steps of these writers, but isn't
it time to take the next step? It's time to make the connection to
the 1980s 49ers and admit the truth about
the so-called WCO.
The Big Asterisk: Yes, the NHS was dismissed as "conspiracy
theorists" by arrogant Niner fans, but in the end, we were right
-- the Niners cheated the salary cap. See
our take on the violations and the farce of a punishment.
Quotables
From Kevin Hench, FOXSports.com:
"Worst officiating moments from Pats' win ...
all seven officials missing the most obvious, most violent pick
play in Super Bowl history ... Mitchell actually braced himself
to throw a cross-body block that wiped out Randall Gay while Terrell
Owens ran underneath for a catch-and-run scamper of 30 yards. The
pick was so blatant, so shameless, that even Bill Walsh would have
felt bad about it."
Gee, that's ever so funny, Mr. Hench, to use Walsh
as a reference like that. Nothing more funny than covering up the
truth about something to fabricate a "best ever" image then
use it as a punch line to a joke 20 years after the fact.
For those keeping the scorecard in the debate over the age-old
question -- does the media kiss Niner-ass because they are (a) ignorant
of the game of football; or (b) biased jerks -- chalk up another point
for the second category. It's clear that this idiot does, in fact,
understand football and that the 49ers base play of the 1980s -- the
pick -- is actually illegal. But it's also clear that he's so biased
he won't ever admit it takes away from anything they accomplished,
just like all the rest of the good little Bandwagon media.
Did you know?
The 49ers are a West Coast team in a West Division,
thus have among the least opportunities for cold weather games to
appear on their schedule. There's no bias there, it's just a fact
of life. However, a study of schedules during the 1990s revealed
that in those opportunities where the 49ers could have
played a cold weather game (when the scheduling formula had them
traveling to a site outdoors in the snow), the NFL usually scheduled
that game early (before week 10) so the 49ers could avoid the cold.
In fact, the 49ers had the least percentage of snow games actually
scheduled of any team we looked at, significantly less than many
other "warm area" or dome teams:
Team |
Possible Cold
Weather Games |
Cold Weather
Games Scheduled |
Percentage |
| 49ers |
23 |
8 |
34.8% |
| Cowboys |
53 |
20 |
37.8 |
| Vikings |
47 |
19 |
40.4 |
| Dolphins |
53 |
23 |
43.4 |
| Rams |
29 |
13 |
44.8 |
| Oilers/Titans |
55 |
29 |
52.7 |
Buccaneers |
39 |
21 |
53.9 |
Raiders |
39 |
22 |
56.4 |
Note that the Rams had almost double the amount of cold
weather games scheduled over the same period even though they both play
in the NFC West. And it should be no surprise to those savvy about NFL
politics to see the Raiders getting stuck in the cold the most, percentage-wise,
despite their West Coast home. So if you're looking for bias, there
you go.
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